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advice would be nice :/

 So i have this girlfriend. She's great. A little on the crazy side but we are working on it.  I have this ex and she's a little on the crazy side too but she's working on it.  They both love me...ALOT. So i feel so guilty.  I have so many unresolved issues with my ex and part of me still wants her. She was my first love, i don't think ill ever be completely over her.  A life without my ex in it seems so unreal to me.  We were together for 3 years.  Now my current girlfriend lives 5 states away -___-.  I love her i really do but when i picture my future as much as i want her in it, i just don't really see her with me.  I feel like she loves me way more then i am capable of loving her.
This situation makes me feel like a complete bitch.  I have two girls that love me and i'm still saying poor me. I don't mean to though.  I just am really at a loss of what to do.  I haven't been legit single for almost 5 years.  Now i'm only 19. that is a really long time to not be single.  I feel like i just need time to myself to figure out everything in my head. To be able to just make decisions and not have someone else affected by it.  I don't really know what to do.  No matter what i decide i will end up breaking someone's heart.  I have been in this situation for a couple months. I have to do something about it, i know this. I just am so scared of doing the wrong thing that i can't even decide what i truly want.  help?! :/


i have always lovedddd lip and tongue piercings and have sworn since birth i was going to get them.  now im 19 and i have my tongue pierced and im seriously contemplating if i should get my lip pierced or not =/ i just dont know if i should.  im afraid that it might look bad or trashy on me. bahhh decisions decisions~!

New Life

It's weird how different a life can be after a breakup. Initially, well for me atleast, it was full of heartache and looking for distractions but now my life is good again.  My friends are great and love me and it feels amazing to be able to reconnect with them all.  Ive been to 2 concerts and been traveling everywhere. I've been having the most fun i've had in a long time.  Im starting to realize how toxic my relationship was.  I like being able to move on to better things.  Nothing holding me back :)  Happiness feels good. haha  ..Isn't it funny how much time people spend on finding love, keeping love, and getting over a love?


 So my girlfiend of 3 years broke up with me with no explanation and wouldn't wouldn't talk to me to tell me why. iI finally get her to pick up last night and She says she is with this new Guy from her work and she is so Happy now and was miserable with me.  The night before we broke up she was saying how much she loves me and is so Happy with me and making me promise to not fall out of love with her.  And now I get Heartbroken over it... great

Mar. 2nd, 2010

so im trying to get myself to start posting stuff again but i feel uninspired to write about anything haha what a dilemma

i havent posted anything in FOREVER! omg its ridiculous.  so heres a really short update.

 im transfering college, im in probably the worst relationship ever, im in an extremely bad mood at the moment, and my work load is insane!!!

gahhh okayy byeeeeeeeeeeeee


omg so college is freaking crazy! its like ridiculously hard to read all the stories on here AND do my work -_-... im a bio major and apparently that means that they want to kill me with work *gasp* its working! i called my dad and told him i was dropping out and he had to support me forever haha he started freaking out thinking i was serious. it gave me a good laugh =)

move in...

just moved in to college today! *squeee* its so weirddddd i met a couple cool people so far and my roommate is really cool and HOT *jaw drops* haha im in trouble >.< oh wellls

mt fugi

 i have been craving me some mt. fugi for like 2 months now and i really wanna go!!!! im sad =( lol i was supposed to go today but plans kept gettin messed up and it never happened ughhhhh


fml -_- i've never been cheated on before... its not a good feeling lol =/